The Final Debate

It was the third and final debate of the election season. Less than three weeks remained until election day and the polls were tight, adding to the electric atmosphere. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump answered questions, argued issues, and tossed insults as frequent as the candy tossed in parades all across the country. Emotions were high and neither candidate succumbed to their conscience nor to human decency as they traded insult for insult.

The final round arrived. One minute awaited each candidate to make a closing statement – the last words to the nation from the debate stage. As the audience watched live and millions of citizens across the country listened in anticipation, each candidate, at the exact same moment, had a heart attack and died. The nation was in shock.

Somewhere in another dimension, one known as the afterlife, the two candidates bowed before a great, white throne.

“Rise!” the voice boomed from the throne, then reverberated. “Tell me, what is your case? Why should you be allowed to bask in my presence for all eternity? Hillary may go first.”

“I was an advocate for the little person,” she explained. “I fought for equality, championed the cause of women’s rights, and served the public all my life.”

God laughed. “As you are surely aware, I know everything, including the motives of the heart. You are no longer campaigning or on a debate stage. In my presence you cannot paint your service as a basket of righteous deeds when they were self-serving, manipulative, and dishonest. The fact that you say you advocated for the ‘little person’ shows your self-righteous attitude and condescending arrogance. You attacked women who spoke out against your husband’s abusive use of power. You supported and accepted money from dictators and governments that tortured, abused, and killed the very people you claimed to help. You used groups of minorities to advance your own political power and wealth.

“What do you have to say to these charges?”

Hillary cowered as her life and motives were exposed and she saw in truth what she had spent her life denying. She could only speak two words. “I’m guilty.”

A grave heaviness hung over the room.

“Donald, your turn.”

“I created thousands of jobs. I fought against the establishment, to keep America safe, and to make the country great again.”

“Like Hillary, the good deeds you’ve done fail to impress when I examine your motives. You are a narcissistic dictator. You created organizations and built companies to feed your need to control, to obtain attention and prestige, and to use your positions to influence people and policies. You’ve forgotten Who made America great and have replaced your love for me with a love for your country. In your effort to protect Americans, you neglect millions of people worldwide that are in desperate need of help. I made America the most powerful and influential country in the world not to dictate but to lead by example the virtues of charity, justice, and service. America is only made great by standing up for justice and against evil, both in it’s own country and around the world. Like America, you strive for your own benefit and pleasure.

“What do you have to say to these charges?”

Again, there was only one answer. “I’m guilty.”

“What will happen to us now?” Hillary asked.

“I have another assignment for each of you. Hillary, you said your life goal was to help women’s rights, so I am placing you as a young woman in Saudi Arabia, where woman are servants, have no rights, and aren’t allowed to drive.”

“Donald, I will place you in North Korea as a regular citizen under the dictatorship of Kim Jong-Il. Learn what it’s like to serve a true dictator.”

“What do you want us to do in these new countries?” Donald asked.

“You each told me your life’s ambition; show me your sincerity. Hillary, continue your fight for women’s and minorities’ rights. Put a stop to the torture and execution of women, homosexuals, and Christians. Donald, build companies and produce jobs. Fight for your country and make North Korea great.”

“But what you’ve ask of us is impossible!” Hillary argued.

“Nothing is impossible!” God bellowed. “Have you not heard a thing I’ve said? I look at your heart, at your motives. Do you think that because you were Presidential candidates you were more successful in advancing your causes than others? Nonsense! Most people who have progressed social change and justice received little to no recognition. They gave of themselves, served selflessly, and desired only the betterment of the other person. Their country, political system, financial welfare, and cultural acceptance had no effect on their character or their mission. If you truly believe in the issues you confessed a moment ago you will fight for them no matter where you are.”

Donald and Hillary bowed in submission. “We accept your judgment.”

“Now that we are gone, what will happen in America, with the elections?” Hillary asked.

“I will place as President someone who is a selfless servant. Someone who sees the good in others and encourages honest dialogue about ideas and lifestyles different from their own. Someone who accepts others unconditionally, stands up for the equality of every individual, and judges others objectively and with an open mind. This person will be humble, fair, and will strive to bring people together instead of dividing them. They will submit their will to the law and to my commands, seek justice before personal gain, and their first priority will be to love Me and the citizens of America.”

“Who is the person you have selected?” Donald asked.

A deep, agonizing sigh echoed around the room before God spoke. “I’m still looking.”

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1 Response to The Final Debate

  1. J.Q. Rose says:

    Loved this. Well-written. I think we’re all still looking for that person, but too late.

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